It’s now clear how those Remoaners who’ve never forgiven the British people for being so stupid as to vote against the EU, intend to con us into crawling back to the institution they love. First, tie the government down to staying in the Customs Union. Second, conspire with the EU to insist that there are no escape clauses such as trading with other countries or buying food from cheaper markets, so that the Customs Union becomes EU-lite. Then round it off by announcing that the only thing that’s changed by that would be the loss of our much-loved Euro MPs poncing around, so we might as well rejoin the Blob and give up on the foolish idea of ever escaping from under it. Bingo. Remainers are back in power. The elite takes back control and a reluctant and recalcitrant people can return to the joys of being drained economically and bossed around politically. We’ll be able to sit on the EU’s naughty step wearing our dunce’s hat. We may even be allowed to join the euro so that we can share the happiness and the salutary discipline of Greece and Spain. Sadly, apart from the national humiliation, the alienation of everyone who voted for Brexit and the waste of three years of our time, there is one other disadvantage of this triumph. It will be more difficult to address the failure of an economy which can no longer pay the nation’s way in the world, support the services its people require or rebuild and rebalance it. Britain’s economy is lopsided but it can’t be rebalanced in the EU. Faced with an ever growing trade deficit to finance Germany’s accumulating surplus, a Tory government would have to re-impose austerity, hold wages, sell off companies and assets and promote Taxhaven-on-Thames to attract dodgy money of all kinds. As for Labour, it would have to become what the triumphant Blairites have always wanted – a toothless Liberal Party, glossy and full of good intentions but unable to do anything much because the EU won’t allow it. It wouldn’t be able to stop the tax drain to Ireland and Luxembourg or increase taxes on the wealthy or the multinationals for fear of driving them abroad. Nor would it be allowed to rebuild the economy in the way China and others have done by state support to build national champions or shift industry to develop the regions. As for the people, they may not be too happy, but at least they’ll have had a chastening demonstration that their foolish ingratitude for forty years of neoliberalism and their hopeless whims for a new start not only won’t work but can’t be tolerated. The old elite would be back in power and tied to Europe more closely than ever because they can’t lean on President Trump in the old way and Britain must surely be grateful for that. Our old elite would be back in their heaven, even if all’s not well with the world.